Makes me wanna holler...

I'm watching The National.

I find it highly disturbing that people have to live under these conditions anywhere in the world. Let alone in a so-called "civilized" country.

Save the Wheel!

A seemingly cryptic campaign. Yet it seems kind of clear to me...

I found STW when I visited Joshua Harris' web site. In my opinion, there's little mystery in the "Wheel" that they're speaking of. I think the "Wheel" is a clever guise for the way we live.

Everybody's looking for something to satisfy them. And even many Christians are on a hollow quest believing that they have to follow the world in order to fill their souls. Yet for some of us, the way to true satisfaction remains simple and clear.

God.

He made us, he made "the wheel"...There are things that aren't broken, but we're determined to fix them. We believe the Devil's lie, that we have to compromise ourselves in order to be fulfilled.

I believe that God gave us rules...Not to bring us pain, or cause us sorrow, but to keep us safe.

That isn't to say I'm not human. I know that following the Lord comes with a price. One may feel upset that she or he has to (seemingly) do without in order to follow Christ.

But the prize is worth the fight, my friends. The prize is worth the fight. (Hebrews 12: 1)

Whose LIFE is it anyway?

1 Corinthians 6:19: Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

(emphasis added)

It is only over the past year or so that I have come to grasp the concept of stewardship. I never used to pay it any mind, really. When I was younger, I used to think it had something to do with how we spent our money. And money was the stuff of adults who had jobs. It had nothing to do with me.

But now somehow, the Lord has made certain things plain to me. In particular, there is the fact that we must be mindful of more than our money. It's worth our while to consider what we do, how we do it, and who (or what) we do it for.

What we do

By this, I'm referring to God's gifts.

It can be truly awesome to attempt to fathom the significance of our own existence. Particularly under the covering of the Divine. We are separate, individuals, and yet in so many ways, one. Crafted by God, each with our own skills and talents. But for what?

I believe to serve each other, and in doing so, strive to serve the Lord. None of our abilities came to us by accident. I am convinced that God crafted each and every one of us not only on purpose, but with a purpose.

Our skills, our talents--Those things we do that fit that old cliche about us taking an ability of ours for granted, while others stand back and go "wow" or "you really have a way with..."

I believe that these are the abilities we need to pay attention to, because these are the skills that God meant us to use in order to honor ourselves, each other, and ultimately, him.

How we do it

I struggle with this tremendously. My current situation does not match my dreams. Unfortunately, my displeasure regarding my circumstances is becoming obvious. I've been failing to give my all in certain duties and relationships. Yet this is not what our Heavenly Father wants.

Colossians 3:23 says, "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men". When we give our best effort in all that we do, we let our lights shine...We honor God when we use all that he has given us.

Who we do it for

I've considered teaching at a Christian school. Or at least, applying to teach at one. After all, as a Christian, shouldn't I be preoccupied with the welfare of Christian youth?

But for now I've put that idea on hold. I think that kids in the public system deserve as many positive influences as they can get.

And then there's writing.

For a few years now, I have seriously flipped and flopped, vacillating regarding the idea of whether or not I ought to attempt to get intot he Christian writers' market. At one point I even joined a Christian writers group. I applied for, and won, a bursary so that I could have afforded to attend their annual conference.

And then, I never went.

(Oh shhhh. Something came up and I honestly couldn't go. Perhaps it was the Devil getting in my way...?)

God has given me a gift, and I've been questioning whether or not I ought to use it for his glory. In some ways that's why I'm thankful for this blog. Even if I never write the next Christian Blockbuster, I treasure this place where I can write freely about my faith.

Yet why question? In my heart of hearts, I know it makes perfect sense to give back to the one who has given unto me. And as the verse I quoted said "you are not your own".

Still I hesitate.

Why?

Is it the stigma, perhaps?

These days, things that are labeled "Christian" do not have the best of reputations. Supposedly, we're behind the times. We're judgmental, nonsensical fools.

And lets face it.

We build our faith on the teachings of a carpenter who liked to fish. As one of my pastors back in Toronto once said, "There's no way you can sex that story up."

But, as he went on to remind us...Those who understand know that Jesus was more than just a man.

So again, why do we hesitate to answer The Call?

Fear.

I was talking with a friend of mine regarding this very issue. "Fear" is the only reason she could come up with for one wanting to avoid God's will. I agree with her wholeheartedly.

As indicated above, the name/title/label "Christian" is not a popular one.

In my head there's a list of all the things I could lose if I decided to use my talent for the Christian market. Namely, credibility in the secular writing world. Consider, even, making small talk at a party:

"What do you do for a living?"

"I write."

"Really?" Captivated, the person I'm speaking with
leans closer. "What kind of stuff? Where can I find it?"

Um..."At Mitchell's, under Christian Living."

I have no idea why this hesitation haunts me. It isn't as though I wouldn't have an audience. Yet I know there's something in certain Christians' minds. We share this fear...We don't want non-believers to think we're strange.

Yet as a Christian in a secular world, isn't that par for the course?

You know...

I think I have some friends who don't even know I'm Christian. Once my faith
leaps from being spirituality (a rarely-discussed topic) to my career, there'll
be no hiding. I'll be "exposed".

And truly, I used to have a deep, resistant fear. It began and ended with the idea that I would never get what I wanted out of this life if I made a conscious effort to cling to God.

And what is it that I want?

1. True Love

2. Professional Success

Neither is outside the realm of possibility. But stereotypes have obscured people's view. They used to muddy my vision. For example...Success for the spiritual means that we are destined to be pencil-pushers.

And love?

When it comes down to it, a "good" Christian (woman) supposedly should learn to keep quiet and be ready to make do with someone they're only "sort of" compatible with. After all, a quality mate is hard to come by. God's children cannot afford to be choosy. They can't afford to hope for a mate who makes them smile either.

I have seen and known people who held out for God's personal and professional best. And in the end they were not disappointed.

I have been blessed along the way in my life as well. So I posit that there's no reason to believe that the Lord's promises won't be fulfilled. That is not arrogance. That is my statement of faith and confidence in God, his will, and his ways.

At the end of the day, as they say...What really matters? What brings true joy and fulfillment? Our devotion is what the Lord desires the most. For it is written:

Matthew 22:37: Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'

This command seems only fair to me, since we are, as stated before, not our own.

Although I have a fear of failing at everything that I try, I know that all I can offer is my own basic, human effort. True, that can never match the ultimate standard. (Romans 3:23). But in the end, it's all I've got.

Virgin Territory - The 411

I figured that perhaps some of you are curious about the sidebar item entitled "Virgin Territory".

What's it for?

I've decided to devote at least a small segment of my page to show some support to blogs that support abstinence or chastity. Either through their themes, or the nature of their author's lifestyles.

The pendulum has swung a little too far for my liking.

Back in the day, if you had sex out of wedlock you were a terrible person.

These days, if you're not doing "it" with someone or simply anyone at all...Somehow, you're the odd one out. You're lacking...Something. Supposedly.

What the media and most of society fails to acknowledge is the fact that a commitment to chastity--whether for religious reasons or otherwise--is the norm for many individuals.

And we are not necessarily throwing ourselves pity parties every night.

Today I visited La Senza.

Online, at least.

For those not in the know, I suppose they're Canada's answer to Victoria's Secret.

I must've been away too long. I was surprised to see some new categories--they have a bra lounge and a panty bar.

Back in Toronto, there is/was a club called the G Spot.

*scratches head*

I wonder which came first. ;)

Everything to Somebody

I stole this poem from Sexless in the City.

You are Everything to Somebody
Right now at this very minute……
Someone
Is very proud of you
Someone
Is thinking of you
Someone
Cares about you
Someone
Misses you
Someone
Wants to talk to you
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Hopes you aren’t in trouble
Someone
Is thankful for the support you have provided
Someone
Wants to hold your hand
Someone
Hopes everything turns out all right
Someone
Wants you to be happy
Someone
Wants you to find them
Someone
Is celebrating your successes
Someone
Wants to give you a gift
Someone
Thinks you ARE a gift
Someone
Hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
Someone
Wants to hug you
Someone
Loves you
Someone
Wants to lavish you with small gifts
Someone
Admires your strength
Someone
Is thinking of you and smiling
Someone
Wants to be your shoulder to cry on
Someone
Wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
Someone
Thinks the world of you
Someone
Wants to protect you
Someone
Would do anything for you
Someone
Wants to be forgiven
Someone
Is grateful for your forgiveness
Someone
Wants to laugh with you about old times
Someone
Remembers you and wishes you were there
Someone
Is praising God for you
Someone
Needs to know that your love is unconditional
Someone
Values your advice
Someone
Wants to stay up watching old movies with you
Someone
Wants to share their dreams with you
Someone
Wants to hold you in their arms
Someone
Wants YOU to hold them in your arms
Someone
Treasures your spirit
Someone
Wishes they could STOP time because of you
Someone
Praises God for your friendship and love
Someone
Can’t wait to see you
Someone
Wishes that things didn’t have to change
Someone
Loves you for who you are
Someone
Loves the way you make them feel
Someone
Wants to be with you
Someone
Is hoping they can grow old with you
Someone
Hears a song that reminds them of you
Someone
Wants you to know they are there for you
Someone
Is glad that you’re their friend
Someone
Wants to be your friend
Someone
Stayed up all night thinking about you
Someone
Is alive because of you
Someone
Is remorseful after losing your friendship
Someone
Is wishing that you would notice them
Someone
Wants to get to know you better
Someone
Believes that you are their soul mate
Someone
Wants to be near you
Someone
Misses your guidance and advice
Someone
Values your guidance and advice
Someone
Has faith in you
Someone
Trusts you
Someone
Needs you to send them this letter
Someone
Needs your support
Someone
Needs you to have faith in them
Someone
Needs you to let them be your friend
Someone
Will cry when they read this.

The Curious Case of the Academic Epidemic

The other day my mom and I were discussing my career. Things are looking up, and Lord willing, I will be supply teaching soon.

We spoke of another young teacher...This person is in a similar boat... Meaning when an instructor is absent for a day or two, he fills in.

This lead quickly to some banter back and forth regarding what I will and won't teach, in the event that I'm asked to come in and "fake it".

"Almost anything, so long as it's not senior-level math!" I exclaimed.

"And you could teach music, too."

I muttered a "Yeah" in affirmation. Although I don't know all the technical terminology, and I'm a bit shy...If pressed to do so, I'm pretty sure that I could manage it for a short while.

The conversation quickly turned to English. Which turned to teachers who aren't qualified to teach the subject, but are doing so...Not as supply teachers. Rather, for the long term.

There's a serious danger there. When you're dealing with English, you're talking about a subject that influences the way young people communicate. (In every aspect of their lives.) Today's "young people" are tomorrow's adults, and the potential rulers of our society.

I can't tell you the number of times I've listened to people (of various ages) talk, or read things they've written, and wondered, worriedly,"Good grief. Who was their English teacher...?"

That isn't to say I'm some sort of linguistic snob. I've mentioned it before in this blog...I'm a regular human being. I see nothing wrong with communicating like one.

At the same time, if you're one of my students, and you think I'm going to let you get away with using IM-style diction and spelling in one of your assignments...

Think again.

I have to confess something: In my quest for a job, there have been times when I've tried to put a spin on what I can do. I'm officially qualified to teach three subjects. However I tend to think that if pressed, I can handle others. I've said as much in a few cover letters...I figure that five sections of English, and one section of, say, Basket Weaving, won't kill me.

But something in my mother's concluding remarks stuck with me. Regarding these unqualified teachers who teach English, she commented (paraphrasing), "And then, they push Johnny through the system, he graduates, and when he can't read, people wonder why..."

I'm not trying to say that everyone who isn't qualified to teach English is phenomenally bad. However I can't help thinking that teachers of all subjects risk doing their kids a disservice when they attempt to teach a subject about which they haven't a clue. (Pardon my convoluted sentence. Hopefully you get my meaning.)

Now I know, as an insider, this is where things like Additional Qualification courses come in. It's possible to bridge gaps in your own education, and thus be able to teach others effectively.

Still, I wonder how many instructors out there neglect to do so. And what of their students?

There's a dangerous potential in the power that teachers have...Young people often take us at our word. We have the ability to influence not only their intellect, but how they perceive this world.

My sincere hope is that we use our abilities for good and not evil.

*Classic* N...

I need to get on my soapbox about something soon. I miss complaining in such a focused fashion. LOL.

Please Note: I have no prejudices. I simply find nothing wrong with people claiming their identity.

Will the real Black girl please stand up?

as seen in marlo, in 2003...

Why is it that to certain black people, some of us don’t fit the code? Apparently, there’s a particular way we must dress, speak, and act – and if we should fall short of these standards, we‘re somehow not “the real thing". It didn’t occur to me that I was an outsider until my last day with Tasha, an old roommate. It was quite a rude awakening.

I was scouring my room - you know, checking behind the dresser, under the bed, to make sure I wasn’t leaving anything behind. In the midst of a packing frenzy, there was a knock at my bedroom door. Slightly annoyed, I answered. It was Lee, one of my roommate’s friends who was visiting from the Caribbean.

“Your mom’s on the phone,” he drawled.

I followed him into the living room and picked up the receiver. On the other end, my mother’s tone was icy. “Do you know what Lee said?”

“What?” I asked distractedly, trying to remember where I put my guitar pick.

“I asked for you, and he said, ‘Who, the white girl?’” His words, straight from her mouth, were like a slap in the face.

My first goal was to calm my mother down. She wanted to confront him, and I fought off the urge to shame Lee into the next century by reminding myself that after the next sunrise, I‘d never have to see him again. But in the aftermath of our farewell, my anger over the telephone incident hadn’t faded. It even evolved into a bit of curiosity. Why would someone who should know better - someone who is black like me - call me a “white girl”?

Thinking back over the few times that I’d interacted with Lee, something he once said stood out. We were making small talk one day, and out of the blue he said to me, “You know, where I come from, you’d be considered white.” Immediately I wondered why he would say such a thing. I even asked, but he didn’t explain. I attempted to draw my own conclusions.

Where he came from was Trinidad, the same island where my mother was born and raised. My complexion is brown; nobody who has ever seen me could deny that based on my physical features, I am Black. But apparently for some people looking the part isn’t enough.
There are a few things I can think of that might set me apart from [some] Black people – mainly how I dress, and the way I speak and act. Few, if any of those things fit certain people’s ideas about what makes an “authentic” black person.

Not too long ago, I laughed and shook my head in disbelief when my friend Lisa told me about an encounter she once had at a local mall. She had been shopping for her mother and stepped outside to call home and double-check a few items. According to Lisa, her mother became quite aggravated, and in turn Lisa’s frustration mounted. And after a series of "yes, mother," "I don't know, mother," "I’m trying my hardest, mother" replies, she exploded and unleashed a few angry words before hanging up.

Meanwhile, she noticed a young black man watching her, amused. Lisa smiled at him, and, with a great sigh was about to re-enter the mall when he approached her.

"So, that was your mom, eh? You seem kind of upset, still."

She smiled wanly, and said, "You know how mothers can be sometimes, when they want you to do something for them? I swear mine thinks I’m an imbecile. Next time I’ll just let her run her own errands. "

His eyes widened, and then he laughed. "Listen to the way you talk! So proper! What kinda nigger are you? Har har…”

“What kinda nigger are you?”

Since when does speaking in a proper manner make one’s blackness questionable? In his observation, it was though the young man doubted Lisa’s authenticity. Obviously Lisa’s diction came as a shock. But why? Why should it be surprising to hear a black person use dignified language? It still seems that certain members of my community still associate such speech with those who are white. Perhaps it goes back to the notion that propriety was the purview of those who were despised or feared.

I’m uncomfortable with the fact that the young man used the word nigger. Sure, you could replace the term with the words Black Person; that’s what he obviously meant. But for many Black people, nigger automatically connotes a battery of negative images. Sometimes I think that when someone refers to himself or others by the n-word, he might have a dangerous belief system that dictates Black people ought to adhere to the negative archetypes associated with the word. We deserve better than to aspire to the ideologies that nigger embodies.

Oddly enough, I can almost tolerate it when people who aren’t Black think this way. It’s easy for me to point my finger and call such people bigots. But when I have to put up with such garbage from members of my own race, I want to scream. Don’t they realize what they’re doing when they adhere to stereotypes and ostracize those who don’t follow their example?

The way I act and speak doesn’t change the fact that I’m Black. To use words that you might have to look up in a dictionary isn’t a whites-only privilege. Yes, Lee may have called me a white girl; I suppose he wanted to hurt me and deny my identity by saying that I’m “other”. While I was insulted by his words, he only revealed his ignorance and earned my pity.

I don’t know which is sadder: the fact that this society continues to perpetuate lies concerning black people's existence, or that those lies are believed and perpetuated by the very people they’re told about.

The Gospel

The movie "The Gospel" has become my latest obsession. Yesterday I spent (wasted?) hours online, transfixed by the film's trailer...Which looks better on Yahoo movies than the official site, btw....Its soundtrack features "Victory"...An incredible single by Yolanda Adams that should be played LOUD...It permeates my soul...And brought tears to my eyes when I first heard it...

It also seems to have an okay storyline.

While investigating, I noticed an interesting trend.

There's a marked difference between the so-called-professional and real-people reviews on Yahoo.

I honestly can't say anything concerning the quality of the production. I haven't seen it yet. Regardless, there's are certain things that I know to be true:

People are crying, dying for decent God-centered stories to be told on the big screen.

The Lord is real. Not only for me, but millions of individuals the world over.

My only hope is that it's a good movie, and not one of those Waiting To Exhale Because I Got a love jones in tha' Hood after meeting the Best Man who had a bag of Brown Sugar after a game of Love and Basketball* movies

*That Fantasy Movie Title was taken from a post written by Someone I Can't Remember... Back in the days of the Fametracker forums. The topic was those stereotype-laden so-called "black" films.

Last post...

Of this morning, at least.

An intriguing* idea, as outlined in the Toronto Star.

*By "intriguing", I don't necessarily mean "good".

One day I'll actually spend more than a few seconds and post what I really think about some of these issues...I promise.

Compelling.

On occasion while I'm using Blogger, I go to the "Dashboard" section of the interface and take a look at the Blogs of Note.

Operation Eden caught my eye this morning.

When it comes to Hurricane Katrina, I'm beyond tears these days. Still, the images that Clayton James Cubitt has taken have stirred something in my heart...

NPS

Well, kids. Tomorrow is National Porn Sunday.

I saw a link about it in the forums on Relevant. Then, when I woke up this morning, I heard a blurb about it on the news.

I'm feeling a bit inspired...Perhaps it's time I post a treatise that outlines what I really think about sex.

Lord knows, I've composed several in my mind...