Saturday, October 22, 2005

Whose LIFE is it anyway?

1 Corinthians 6:19: Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

(emphasis added)

It is only over the past year or so that I have come to grasp the concept of stewardship. I never used to pay it any mind, really. When I was younger, I used to think it had something to do with how we spent our money. And money was the stuff of adults who had jobs. It had nothing to do with me.

But now somehow, the Lord has made certain things plain to me. In particular, there is the fact that we must be mindful of more than our money. It's worth our while to consider what we do, how we do it, and who (or what) we do it for.

What we do

By this, I'm referring to God's gifts.

It can be truly awesome to attempt to fathom the significance of our own existence. Particularly under the covering of the Divine. We are separate, individuals, and yet in so many ways, one. Crafted by God, each with our own skills and talents. But for what?

I believe to serve each other, and in doing so, strive to serve the Lord. None of our abilities came to us by accident. I am convinced that God crafted each and every one of us not only on purpose, but with a purpose.

Our skills, our talents--Those things we do that fit that old cliche about us taking an ability of ours for granted, while others stand back and go "wow" or "you really have a way with..."

I believe that these are the abilities we need to pay attention to, because these are the skills that God meant us to use in order to honor ourselves, each other, and ultimately, him.

How we do it

I struggle with this tremendously. My current situation does not match my dreams. Unfortunately, my displeasure regarding my circumstances is becoming obvious. I've been failing to give my all in certain duties and relationships. Yet this is not what our Heavenly Father wants.

Colossians 3:23 says, "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men". When we give our best effort in all that we do, we let our lights shine...We honor God when we use all that he has given us.

Who we do it for

I've considered teaching at a Christian school. Or at least, applying to teach at one. After all, as a Christian, shouldn't I be preoccupied with the welfare of Christian youth?

But for now I've put that idea on hold. I think that kids in the public system deserve as many positive influences as they can get.

And then there's writing.

For a few years now, I have seriously flipped and flopped, vacillating regarding the idea of whether or not I ought to attempt to get intot he Christian writers' market. At one point I even joined a Christian writers group. I applied for, and won, a bursary so that I could have afforded to attend their annual conference.

And then, I never went.

(Oh shhhh. Something came up and I honestly couldn't go. Perhaps it was the Devil getting in my way...?)

God has given me a gift, and I've been questioning whether or not I ought to use it for his glory. In some ways that's why I'm thankful for this blog. Even if I never write the next Christian Blockbuster, I treasure this place where I can write freely about my faith.

Yet why question? In my heart of hearts, I know it makes perfect sense to give back to the one who has given unto me. And as the verse I quoted said "you are not your own".

Still I hesitate.

Why?

Is it the stigma, perhaps?

These days, things that are labeled "Christian" do not have the best of reputations. Supposedly, we're behind the times. We're judgmental, nonsensical fools.

And lets face it.

We build our faith on the teachings of a carpenter who liked to fish. As one of my pastors back in Toronto once said, "There's no way you can sex that story up."

But, as he went on to remind us...Those who understand know that Jesus was more than just a man.

So again, why do we hesitate to answer The Call?

Fear.

I was talking with a friend of mine regarding this very issue. "Fear" is the only reason she could come up with for one wanting to avoid God's will. I agree with her wholeheartedly.

As indicated above, the name/title/label "Christian" is not a popular one.

In my head there's a list of all the things I could lose if I decided to use my talent for the Christian market. Namely, credibility in the secular writing world. Consider, even, making small talk at a party:

"What do you do for a living?"

"I write."

"Really?" Captivated, the person I'm speaking with
leans closer. "What kind of stuff? Where can I find it?"

Um..."At Mitchell's, under Christian Living."

I have no idea why this hesitation haunts me. It isn't as though I wouldn't have an audience. Yet I know there's something in certain Christians' minds. We share this fear...We don't want non-believers to think we're strange.

Yet as a Christian in a secular world, isn't that par for the course?

You know...

I think I have some friends who don't even know I'm Christian. Once my faith
leaps from being spirituality (a rarely-discussed topic) to my career, there'll
be no hiding. I'll be "exposed".

And truly, I used to have a deep, resistant fear. It began and ended with the idea that I would never get what I wanted out of this life if I made a conscious effort to cling to God.

And what is it that I want?

1. True Love

2. Professional Success

Neither is outside the realm of possibility. But stereotypes have obscured people's view. They used to muddy my vision. For example...Success for the spiritual means that we are destined to be pencil-pushers.

And love?

When it comes down to it, a "good" Christian (woman) supposedly should learn to keep quiet and be ready to make do with someone they're only "sort of" compatible with. After all, a quality mate is hard to come by. God's children cannot afford to be choosy. They can't afford to hope for a mate who makes them smile either.

I have seen and known people who held out for God's personal and professional best. And in the end they were not disappointed.

I have been blessed along the way in my life as well. So I posit that there's no reason to believe that the Lord's promises won't be fulfilled. That is not arrogance. That is my statement of faith and confidence in God, his will, and his ways.

At the end of the day, as they say...What really matters? What brings true joy and fulfillment? Our devotion is what the Lord desires the most. For it is written:

Matthew 22:37: Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'

This command seems only fair to me, since we are, as stated before, not our own.

Although I have a fear of failing at everything that I try, I know that all I can offer is my own basic, human effort. True, that can never match the ultimate standard. (Romans 3:23). But in the end, it's all I've got.

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