Every now and then I am reminded of how lousy I am...

When it comes to keeping in touch with my friends. I keep letting people fall through the cracks. Just this Monday I was thinking that I hadn't written one of my university buddies in ages.

I kept telling myself to write her...And write her.

The next thing I know I wake up to hear that explosions demolished a set of subway stations and trains in Spain, where my long lost friend now resides.

The world stops for a moment as I try quietly to convince myself that everything is fine. I'm not hysterical, like I was on 9/11. I have family members who work in NYC. One was in the Trade Center, but she survived. Nothing bad happens to any of my friends. Ever.

I repeat this lie to myself several times throughout the morning. Maybe my friends have been fine. But two good acquaintances of mine have died tragically over the past several years--each time, the circumstances of their demise have been publicized heavily in the news.

I don't have my friend's phone number but I have her email address. I send off a frantic message, and...

She's okay. Thank God. She doesn't live in Madrid.

But nearly 200 innocent lives were lost.

When will it end!?!?!

I usually try to be positive, but really. How did we wind up in such a scary, disgusting world?