Waking up.

It occurred to me. I don't need to attend journalism school. What I really ought to do is commit to the words God gives me.

I know I should write every day. At this rate, I certainly could. There's an interesting dichotomy I've noticed. On one hand, I mourn the years. The time between when I graduated with my BA until now is filled with (seemingly) little more than loneliness and screw-ups. Dead ends. In my head there's an image of a scrawny bird with a downy head and flapping wings. She tries to leave her nest more than once but fails miserably. (A pathetic, melodramatic image. But a pretty apt one.)

And then I wake up from that pity party and ask myself what I've done to further the pursuit of my own goals. For example, I have this blog. Do I use it? Not as much as I could or should. I could work to write my way to liberty, but I haven't been. It's strange. As though I've never trusted myself to pursue my heart's desires. Save for teaching. But as much as I love teaching, it is not all of me...

Quote of the day!

"don't be so heavenly minded that you're of no earthly good."

From the vox on the Relevant boards.

"Remember the truth. It's all that matters."

Check out "A Million Little Lies" on The Smoking Gun's web site.

I'm watching Oprah now. Can't help wishing I'd read A Million Little Pieces. James Frey is a real piece of work. As is the representative from his publishing house.

Doesn't the truth mean anything to anyone anymore?

I mean...I know it does. But Frey's reaction to getting caught--for lack of a better term--is phenomenal. He seems very calm. Almost to the point of apathy. He doesn't seem to comprehend the controversy.


Or maybe it's old news to him, and he's at the point now where he just doesn't care.

And the winner is....

Paul Martin lost to Stephen Harper last night in our federal election. Just barely though. He's got a minority government...

Here's a primer. Although I had my hunches, that link marks the first time I've had the term officially spelled out for me.

School is supposed to be fun?

I have yet to read that post in its entirety, yet the premise--or rather, the fact that someone had the cojones to post it--intrigues me.

I don't believe for a minute that school is supposed to be One. BIG. Party. But there's nothing wrong with you (a teacher) and your kids (students) enjoying yourselves and finding fulfillment in your daily lessons.

There is one thing I can say that I learned today though.

I have nothing against long-term teachers who let their students see them smile. When you have a class of your own you will have a rapport, etc., etc.

But.

If you're a substitute teacher....I suggest you use your weapons wisely. In my everyday life, I smile quite liberally. I laugh openly. I can't help it. That's just the kind of person I am.

Meanwhile in my professional life, I've come to one conclusion:

If you smile too much or too soon, you are done. DONE, I tell you!

Or at least I was a few hours ago.

*sigh*

It's like I read or heard once somewhere: It's easier to start out strict and ease up on students than it is to start easy and then turn around and attempt to be a good disciplinarian.